The World As We Know It Ends! What’s the Path to Libertarian Recovery?

 

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John Schlosser, November 9, 2016

The 2016 election is over. Donald Trump, AKA Cheeto Jesus, the Great Pumpkin, the Orange Calf, the Mango Mussolini, the Tangerine Tyrant, and many other things you shouldn’t let your children read, is President of the United States (for as long as he can avoid prison).

How should we react, as Libertarians, to the situation we all find ourselves in?

We could always try the method it appears Democrats are exercising; it’s called “The U.S. Air Force Disaster Drill”, and it goes like this:

“When in trouble

Or in doubt,

Run in circles,

Scream, and shout.”

It is quickly evident to sane people that said drill is ineffective. It also greatly annoys your more peaceable neighbors. In fact, if you keep it up for any period of time, constables of the peace are liable to escort you to a small locked “safe space”, where you can pull all your micro-aggressed triggers until the magazine is empty. A nice person in a white lab coat will then give you pills to make certain it stays empty, and send you on your way. While that technique can be entertaining for a few days, perhaps we should avoid it.

It goes without saying that we should also avoid the apparent Republican method, which seems to have spread like the Black Plague throughout all their ranks, even those of the “never-Trump” persuasion. Libertarians do poorly at kissing rings, genuflecting and prostrating ourselves. We often seem to have enough trouble even being kind to the genuinely religious within our own ranks; we certainly aren’t game for helping the Republicans with their new cult, the Cult of the Little Itty Bitty Teeny Tiny Orange…um…Hands.

Ew. Definitely not kissing the hand.

What should we do then?

We could go back to the ancient and dishonorable “typical” post-election behavior of the Libertarian Party we’ve always reverted to–making ineffective protest noises, then returning to all our usual internecine infighting and backbiting, always trying to determine what a “real Libertarian” is while we haggle over every jot and tittle of the platform. We could do what we’ve always done, expecting different results, which is the very definition of insanity.

Or…we could change.

First, as individuals, we should find our copy of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Not the book Doug Adams wrote, but the Guide itself. Read the big red friendly letters on the cover. DON’T PANIC. Do not, at this point, hitch a ride on a Vogon ship: Vogons are but slimy green versions of Trump, and we need you here. You could grab your towel, rush to the nearest pub, down as many pints and peanuts as you can in twenty minutes, and put a paper bag over your head. It won’t help, of course, when the Giant Orange Trump Bulldozers arrive, but…

Next, it’s time to do something effective. Something we’ve never tried. Here it goes.

NOW–right now–TODAY–is when the campaigns for ’18 and ’20 begin. We don’t do that, which is one of the reasons we lose. NOW is the time to start building a formidable $war chest$ for all our future candidates, from dog catcher to POTUS. NOW is the time to begin organizing ground game at the PRECINCT level. Find your county Libertarian organization and get connected. If your county doesn’t have one, start one. We’ll help. NOW is the time to find (or draft) serious, qualified, viable and marketable candidates, and to start vetting and prepping them. NOW is the time to LIVE LIBERTARIAN, all day, every day. NOW is the time to be the loud–but polite and principled–opposition. Let’s get going!

 

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